This is sad. There is no way around it. The people closest to us may not understand, why we cut. And no matter how often we try to explain. They will never see, how the pain is affecting us. How cutting is a way to handle the pain.
I learned this the hard way. I wanted to be understood so badly that I would explain it over and over. Talk it through time after time. But by doing so I hurt the ones I loved. Almost lost them. And no. They still do not understand.
The people who love us, will be hurt by the pain we experience. And weirdly enough, the way they measure in how much pain we are is, in how deeply we hurt ourselves. But every physical cut on our skins, is a cut in the heart of the ones we love. Trying to make them understand will hurt them. And it will not help us.
There is a difference between telling them we cut and forcing them to share our pain. The first will honor them, because it shows, that we trust them. The latter… in most cases will do more harm then good. There are people who can handle it. People who will actually understand. Those few I found I may trust with what’s in my heart. I do not know what it is that seperates them from the others. I know intuitively if they will understand or not. That is why for me listening to my gut has become crucial.
So pulling this together: Trusting people with what we are going through is important. But we need to know who we fully trust and who the details of our pain will only hurt.