The 2nd Step: when to see a therapist

Before I went into therapy I gathered opinions. Many of them. The thought that I might need therapy had occured to me after the second time I had cut. But at that point, I found, that I had it under control, at least that was one of the reasons I told myself and to be honest, it was true and for months I did not cut again.

When I started cutting again, a very close friend of mine told me, that I needed help. He kept pushing and pushing.  At some point he declared that he did not want to hear anything about my self-harm until I was seeing someone. Today I think that was mostly a mechanism to protect himself from my pain. And though it did make me quite angry, I think I always understood, why he did that.

So I asked the people around me for their opinions. And I got them. Some said, it would be a good idea. Others said, I had to decide that on my own. And I think that is very true. Therapy will not do you any good, if you do not want to get better.

When we realize that you are sick, we need to want to get better and find a way to make that happen. We are not alone. And we can get the help, we need. But we are allowed to find our very own healing process. Maybe it includes a therapist, maybe it does not. In the end that is entirely up to us. We just need to be able to say: “I am working on getting better.” And as long as we can say that without lying, we are good.

But what is the point, where we do need professional help? I think it is the point where the quality of our life is significantly decreased and we are not in a position to change that. That may be, because we cut ourselves, or because we have panic attacks, or we black out, or we cannot contain our anger. And unless we have an actionable plan to get better, seeing a therapist to help you find that actinable plan is a good idea. But again: In the end everyone has to decide that for themselves.

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