It is incredible how much fear we can work work through in just a few hours. We can think we are fine. We can think, we do not care and in the beat of a heart we experience the iron first of stress that is rooted so deep inside us that we feel entirely at its mercy.
And then it is only natural that we start to fear that we might develop panic attacks. We might fear we are getting worse. And if we don’t watch out we are not only afraid about our mental health, but we end up questioning everything. Our capability to do our job, our qualities as a friend, our qualities as a human being.
And once we start this journey we are in dangerous waters. Our emotions are all over the place and there mere thought of our meltdown might trigger a waterfall of tears.
It is the same as with so many things: we can take this as an opportunity. No, we cannot know if tomorrow the attacks will come back worse. But we do not have to know. Because right now we are alright. We can be afraid of what the future holds or be grateful for what we have, right now. We can be a better person now than we were five minutes ago. A better friend. A better worker. A better human being. And step by step we can build a better life for ourselves and a better world for our children.
Fear is not evil. And being brave does not mean having no fear. It means going on despite the fear. Sometimes the fear of what might happen if we don’t change something even makes us better people. But we can never let ourselves get devoured by “what if”-fears. Sometimes the fear is so real we cannot escape. It becomes physical. I have been there. But sometimes we extrapolate from one small incident and start wondering what will happen in the future. And that is not helpful.
It does not mean that we have to close our eyes from the reality. But just because something is a possibility does not mean it will become true. Most of the time we have a saying in it. We are living our lives, not our lives are being lived for us. Sometimes we wish we didn’t have to. But if we train our eyes we can learn to see the beauty in it. We can not choose our card, but we can choose, how we want to play this game. And I will rather make it count than have my potential wasted because I was too afraid, I might run into a problem I couldn’t handle. Because newsflash: We are actually the only ones capable of handling our lives. Yes, we need help from time to time and there is nothing wrong with that and it does not mean that we are not capable of handling our lives. We can do so many great and wonderful things, we just have to dare to do meaningful things and not let fear parallelize us.