Tag: actionable steps

High society and the rich

I have been watching a lot of YouTube on the topic of high society and elegance. And I realized that even though I always considered myself to tend to be overdressed, I am very middle class. And I asked myself if I was willing to put in the effort to become high society. But at some point I realized, that that was not the goal.

When we look to the rich and famous, we realize a few things

  • They respect themselves (and often times others)
  • They don’t crave approval
  • They care about one thing or another
  • They act instead of talking

But these things are all not exclusive to upper classes and the rich. Those things are simply things, that make us happy. And I truly believe, that this is the key: If we manage to implement these things in our own mindsets, we have a better shot at success (whatever that may be to us), because these things make us happier, better people, no matter which social class we are in.

We do not need to strive for elegance and affluence. We need to strive for confidence, respect for ourselves and others and a proactive and positive mindset. Because that is how everything else will eventually fall into place. Think about it: if you see something in your life, that you do not like, your proactive mindset will make you change it.

We don’t need to have high society approve of us. We need to have ourselves approve of us. I know that for me, that mostly means I have to approve of my own mindset and the way this mindset is put into action. There is nothing wrong with striving for elegance. Just remember one thing: Elegance is not just about looking and acting sophisticated, it is even more about being appropriate. Overdressing is not elegant. When I dress for an occasion, I will always think about what is the average level of elegance that will be worn there and then wear something that is 1-3 levels more elegant than that. This way I will look elegant, yet not overdressed. And this applies to every day situations as well. If I care I can dress very well even for university or running errands. But that is just how I feel comfortable, this is by no means how everyone needs to operate. I just find, that it helps me a lot with self-respect. But that is a whole other topic.

What determines what we are worth?

I am not going to deny that I am a huge fan of the TV show The Good Place. This show makes me laugh out loudly and at the same time makes me think about right and wrong. It allows me to remember my own moral compass, which I find outspokenly reassuring.

My quickly written list on things that allow me to to know I have unspeakable worth even if I do not feel like it.

One of the actresses of the show Jameela Jamil has started a motion where women think about what it is that makes so amazing. So today on the bus I figured I might write my own little list. I ended up writing down two main points and a couple of points that specify those.

I am aware that this is not something we are always capable of doing. But I think writing it down (again preferably on paper, just like the gratitude log) helps to radiate positivity. To remember why we want to keep fighting. To remember that we are too precious to hurt ourselves. Remember that we are worth being protected.

This again is just one tiny step towards positivity, towards a positive mindset. It helps us to get motivated to recover. Helps us, to become better versions of ourselves, because it helps us to focus on the things that are great about us and it helps us making those things even better.

Again: and I feel like I cannot repeat this often enough: We cannot always force ourselves to be positive. And that is alright. There are so many instances were people around me try to lift me up and I just wish for them to stop and let me cry and be my miserable self. But I also think that it is important, to be positive, if we can. And to remember, that positivity is a thing. And it is an important thing. Not to be forced, but to be celebrated, when we get the chance.