I always ask everyone to be honest about how they feel. I do not want to live in a world of lies. But at the same time I always stress that we should be focusing on the positive. But what about those diary entries stating “I hate myself.” Should we even allow ourselves to write down things like that? Will this not worsen our condition? Manifest our negativity towards ourselves even more?
Honestly, I do not have an answer to that question. On one hand we cannot neglect how we feel on the other hand we should never enhance negative emotion. And I know that hating ourselves for cutting. Hating ourselves in general is wrong. I guess we are all torn apart between being the victim of our disease and being the master of our own fate.
When is something like this a medical condition? When are we innocent, even though we are the ones cutting? It is a crime isn’t it? It is bodily harm. We could file charges against ourselves, couldn’t we? We are the guilty and the injured party. Is the injury enough punishment for the damage we do? How can we just “let go” of all this? How are we supposed to handle it? Us not allowing ourselves to hate ourselves may lead to us turning against ourselves, for hating ourselves, making it all worse. It is a vicious circle. And once we have entered it, we may find a way out, but slipping back into it is so easy that one can raise the question of whether or not we ever been free of it.
Raise the question of whether or not we will ever be free of it. A question I can not answer. I can only hope. And sometimes I fail even to do that. But I guess, we all do.