High society and the rich

I have been watching a lot of YouTube on the topic of high society and elegance. And I realized that even though I always considered myself to tend to be overdressed, I am very middle class. And I asked myself if I was willing to put in the effort to become high society. But at some point I realized, that that was not the goal.

When we look to the rich and famous, we realize a few things

  • They respect themselves (and often times others)
  • They don’t crave approval
  • They care about one thing or another
  • They act instead of talking

But these things are all not exclusive to upper classes and the rich. Those things are simply things, that make us happy. And I truly believe, that this is the key: If we manage to implement these things in our own mindsets, we have a better shot at success (whatever that may be to us), because these things make us happier, better people, no matter which social class we are in.

We do not need to strive for elegance and affluence. We need to strive for confidence, respect for ourselves and others and a proactive and positive mindset. Because that is how everything else will eventually fall into place. Think about it: if you see something in your life, that you do not like, your proactive mindset will make you change it.

We don’t need to have high society approve of us. We need to have ourselves approve of us. I know that for me, that mostly means I have to approve of my own mindset and the way this mindset is put into action. There is nothing wrong with striving for elegance. Just remember one thing: Elegance is not just about looking and acting sophisticated, it is even more about being appropriate. Overdressing is not elegant. When I dress for an occasion, I will always think about what is the average level of elegance that will be worn there and then wear something that is 1-3 levels more elegant than that. This way I will look elegant, yet not overdressed. And this applies to every day situations as well. If I care I can dress very well even for university or running errands. But that is just how I feel comfortable, this is by no means how everyone needs to operate. I just find, that it helps me a lot with self-respect. But that is a whole other topic.

Happiness through Growth

Let’s talk about New Years resolutions. Some may be going well. Some not so well. And some may already have been given up on. That is okay. There are many reasons for that. But one thing may be worth keeping in mind: it is not about being perfect. It is about getting better.

Here’s why generally speaking money does not make one happy: Money is stagnant. Sure, it becomes more, if invested properly. But we don’t really have to improve, to make it anymore. So some may be happier while striving for money, rather than actually possessing the money. We have an inner sensor, that tells us, whether or not we are good enough for ourselves. And that sensor is not satisfied with money. It is satisfied with growth. It is satisfied, when we improve.

So it does not matter, where our New Years resolutions are at right now. All we need is a plan to achieve those goals, if they are worth our time, if they are not we may as well set new goals. Such that in five minutes we are one tiny bit better. Because who said, goal setting and planning improvement was something that had to be done only on special occasions. That is just a way to prevent greatness.

This goes hand in hand with kindness. Kindness towards ourselves. We have to acknowledge our small improvements, because they are worth something. And really they are worth more than money. Kindness towards ourselves can be hard. So hard. I found that learning how to be kind to ourselves can be easier, if we start by being kind to others. Doing the right thing. Because it does make us feel good about ourselves. And when we are kind to others, we do not have to be so harsh on ourselves either.

So one thing we could grow is kindness. Or we can improve our relationships with the people around us. Make an effort to spend some time with someone we care about. Call an old friend. Send them a funny picture. I for one want to smile only genuinely. With my eyes. It helps with relationships, boosts happiness and is something a kind person would do. I don’t plan on smiling less, just more honest.

I believe that kindness and happiness are linked. I do not know why that is. But I think happy people do not need to make other people miserable to feel better about themselves and kind people are making others happy. And happiness seems to be like a boomerang. If you give it someone, they end up giving it right back to you.

Never think, that improvement has to be limited. But never think that growth happens over night or in jumps. It happens almost unnoticeably. Slowly and steadily. If we think there is something that could be improved in our lives, we should do it. Right now.