When we slide into depression or simply feel like we have a depressed mood there is one thing that can happen so easily. We become toxic. We start dragging everyone around us down with us. Because we share our misery. And sometimes we need to be allowed to feel as sad as we want to. And it is so important that we are not alone in those hours. Because when we are it is when we get the worst ideas.
But while sharing our negative thoughts can be necessary we also know of the negative impact those thoughts can have on the people around us. We do know that our suffering becomes the pain of the people we love. We become toxic. And we are caught in a dilemma. On one hand we need nothing more than company and someone being there, comforting us. But on the other hand we know that we will share our negativity. So locking ourselves up in our rooms is wrong because it will prevent us from getting better and seeking company will make the toxins spread.
The next issue is, that we know how toxic we are. We know that we are not fun to be around. We know we are putting a damper on the mood, wherever we go. And we hate it. We hate being sad. It is not like we choose to be sad. We do not want to hurt those we love. This is why being negative around people we love will make us even more negative. Because we hate ourselves for hurting the people close to us.
Some may say: “Trust the people around you, to be able to protect themselves.” And I am a huge advocate of this. But at the same time: What if they protect themselves from us and we loose them forever just because we had a depressive phase? What if we do a lot of damage, before the other person notices that he/she needs to protect him-/herself?
So how can we interact with people? How can we talk about the things that really go on in our heads? How can we know if someone is strong enough to handle it? Honestly I do not know if we can ever be sure. And I think the best way is to work on getting rid of the negativity. I know this is so much easier to write, than to do. But for a first step I think we should all try to share our happiness and our positivity at least as much as we share our sadness. And the other really good step is to get away from ourselves. To ask people about how they are. To practice caring about how other people feel. Even if it is just to get ourselves away from the misery we experience.
And this way we can seek comfort with other people if we are not at our best, because we aren’t always negative. And we are not the only thing we care about. The question really is: Whether or not our bad moods will ruin a relationship. And the simple answer is: Only if the sadness is what defines the relationship. And it is the very same with us in general. Negativity is a normal part of life. No one can be happy non-stop. Negativity will only ruin us, if it defines us. We are only toxic to others, when we are nothing but sad.