Maturing vs. Growing up

We can be grow up without gaining maturity. Growing up happens inevitably, but maturity is so much more than becoming independent and having a sex-life. Maturity is the thing most adults fake to have. The reason for that partially is, that part of maturity is to be confident. The other part is, taking responsibility and understanding that no one cares.

No one cares about how well we are doing at our jobs, or how well our studies are going. Yes, we do try to help each other and we do try to keep each other accountable. And that is all great. But it is just not enough. Unless we realize that we are the ones responsible for how our lives turn out, I can guarantee, it won’t turn out great. Taking responsibility is synonym with effort. And we humans do not like effort. So we’d rather resort to feel-good-quotes and keep telling ourselves, that everything will be fine. But it won’t. Unless we make sure it will.

Even if someone else wanted to deal with the fact, that we are not doing our job well. Even if someone else wanted to read more instead of watching TV, they can never make us. That is the draw-back of living independently. Yes, the people around us, can remind us, of where we want to go. But we have to walk there ourselves.

Do you want to know a secret? I hate it. So much. Taking responsibility for even just my life is so exhausting. And more often than not it does not exactly go well. But we all have to start somewhere, right? I believe maturity is about understanding who we are as an individual and about understanding that that is what matters the most.

Do not make the mistake of thinking that maturity means to never have fun. We can goof around in the weirdest way, but the important thing is, that this goofing around does not endanger anything important: our career, our relationships, or our health. To phrase it in other words: there is nothing wrong with having some fun. There is nothing wrong with making ourselves feel good. In fact, I am all for doing more of what makes as feel good, unless it is at the expense of our overall quality of life or honesty. We should not have to lie to ourselves in order to feel good.

Part of being mature is being able to make our own decisions in a way that benefits us not only short term, but long term. It is about taking responsibility of our health and minds. Our relationship and our surroundings. It is about not only knowing what kind of life we want to live, but also working up the discipline to follow through on working towards that life. Being unreliable is not only annoying and disrespectful to others, but also childish. Children do whatever they want unless they are told not to. Adults do whatever they want unless they tell themselves not to.

There is nothing wrong, with changing one’s opinion. But wanting something and not working towards it, or giving it up, is not taking responsibility for ourselves. No one will hand us the lives we crave. The relationships we want, or the physical appearance we have always dreamed of. We need to understand, that either we take charge or nothing is going to change. Ever.

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